You know the old saying “an elephant never forgets.” I don’t know the complete story about elephants but I do know about telling the truth. Not that I have never told a lie before, but I try and be as honest as I can.
I think most of the people I spend time with are fairly honest but hey, we’re all human and sometimes truth just seems to get lost in the shuffle. I think what happens more than lying, is just not telling the entire story or not providing all the facts.
I suppose there are times when leaving out certain parts, that have nothing to do with the outcome or moving forward, is acceptable, but in doing so, we take the chance that we won’t be able to recreate the story just like we told it the first time.
Here is the problem with just telling part of the story – when we tell it again and it’s different, we lose credibility and trust. Those are pretty important pieces of any business or personal relationship.
Anyone who doesn’t take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either. – Albert Einstein
Remember those two words I just mentioned – credibility and trust? What do you think will happen when there is doubt cast on your story? How will your boss or your employees feel if they don’t think they got the straight scoop? Any time your truthfulness is questioned, it is a step back and not one easily regained.
My guess is that all parents, at some point in time during your children’s lives, tell them that “telling the truth is always better than telling a lie” and don’t forget “you will never get in as much trouble telling the truth as you will telling a lie.”
I wonder why we as adults don’t always follow the same advice. We all have enough going on already. It doesn’t even make sense to use your mental energy to “try and keep your story straight.”
I think there is overlooked aspect of telling the truth. Not the obvious choices like morals and ethics, but awareness. I think awareness plays a big role in our ability to tell the truth. I think when we have a clear idea of the big picture, not telling the truth does not fit into the equation.
Think about this … when you create your goals or cast a vision for your team, are there any steps along the way that require lying? In fact, have you ever written a plan out, or even seen one written by someone else for that matter, that included lying as one of the steps to achieve the goal.
So here is my logic on this. If lying is not part of the plan to succeed, why would we incorporate it into the game plan? The answer I came up with is obvious, we forget about the big picture. Rather than deal with the inevitable roadblock that get’s in the way, we come up with some story or way out to avoid the issue.
Inevitably this will come back to bite us (you know it always does) and will slow us down or worse yet, destroy the plan completely. Like I said earlier, most of the people I spend time with a fairly honest and I would include those reading this in that group. But we all are well practiced in getting in our own way and have no trouble completing the occasional slip up.
Mark Twain said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” Sounds like pretty good advice to me. I have a hard enough time remembering as it is.
Telling the truth is always better that telling a lie, but when you do (and you will), come correct, own it and make it right.
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Barry Smith www.buildingwhatmatters.com 4/27/13 photo by author
Thanks Barry for yet another great post.
You are touching on a very delicate but so important subject, trust.
I believe we sometimes are not being fully truthful to protect ourselves against our biggest fears or wish to protect an image.
This always leads down a wrongful path.
I choose to be vulnerable and real and when others do not meet me, I do not insist but don’t invest.
I have been burned and because life is so precious I now know what I want and need.
Not about being self-centered but knowing what’s my bottom-line and being respected for it.
A path filled with gems and diamonds with the ones that I love.
Thanks for being there my friend.
Johann
I really appreciate you comments Johann. And I know you well enough to say that being vulnerable and real are two of your greatest traits. Thanks for your continued support my friend.
Barry, another great post on a really important topic. When I was a kid, I remember making a decision that lying was more work than telling the truth, because you would have had to remember what you said to whom. And how. I don’t know if I had heard the Mark Twain quote, so another thanks for that one.
That said, on small social matters, I think it’s important to be kind, like when someone asks how you like their new Santa sweater, and you hate Santa sweaters and that one looks hideous on that person. A gentle sidestep like, “wow, cheery!” is often called for. People need to know they can count on us to be kind, gracious and supportive, in addition to being integrous and productive. But you probably have covered that in other articles.
Thanks for another great post! You rock!
Thanks Kebba and you bring up a great example (santa sweater) that we all find ourselves in from time to time. I have tried to get creative when in situations like you have described … “This will be a great sweater to wear on Christmas eve.” Well it would, wouldn’t it? No simple solution – we just need to try and be authentic and hope for the best.
Great post. The only time I have trouble with the truth, is when I know that telling is actually going to hurt the recipients feelings, even though I know it might be for the best, I stuggle to ‘lay it on the line’ and will often try and find a softer possibly not so true version.
Great insight Nikki. Softer may often times be better and in many cases may not be a lie, simply a washed down version of how we feel. Thanks for joining the conversation.
Truth hurts no matter how and when you try to say it, yet it is the right thing to do. On the other hand while telling a lie might make the recipient feel good/better about him/herself, it has repercussions in the end for the one that communicated it. A lie would always look for the follow up ones to tell..then the trust factor becomes an issue. For me, it’s best to tell the truth.
Thanks Yvonne. I appreciate your input and although, we find ourselves in difficult situations at times, I try and make telling the truth my default.