Have you ever listened to someone tell you their life story and you get to the end and think “my life is so boring compared to that? I think most of us have, but I have news for you – your life is not boring!
You might think it is because you don’t have any fascinating stories about world travel adventures or overcoming some major physical or emotional battle, but you have a story. Chances are that other people have experienced similar stories, similar struggles and similar victories as you have. OK – So what!
So what is that we have all overcome some type of adversity in our lives and our story can benefit those that are going through the same thing. Why do people that have overcome health problems do so well dealing with people who are experiencing the same issues? Why do people that have dealt with losing a loved one, do better with someone who has suffered the same loss? It’s because when they say “I know what you are going through,” they do.
I believe there is an unwritten law that says “If you have experienced the same challenge that I have and overcame it, you can help me more than someone who hasn’t.”
So here is the deal … you, yes I said you, have overcome challenges in your life. Maybe big and maybe small, but you still have survived the crisis and come out on the other side. Enter the problem – “But I don’t want other people to know that I had problems – What will they think?”
What they will think is “thank goodness, I thought I was the only one.” Well, you are not the only one. There are hundreds, thousands, even millions that have gone through the same thing.
“My wish has always been to write my own story, to create a life that’s worth writing about. But is a story worth anything at all if I have no one to tell it to?” – Charlotte Eriksson
This quote raises two questions for me. First, is my story worth writing about? And second, do I have anyone to tell it to?
So let’s get back to reality. Do you really feel like your life is not worth writing about? If you do, I would ask why you have accepted that as the final decision. It doesn’t have to be that way. Start living a life worth writing about and start today.
If you have come to the conclusion (I hope you have) that your story is worth sharing, what are you doing about it. I believe your story is a treasure waiting to be shared with others. Are you keeping the treasure chest from the world? The electronic age has made it all but effortless to get your word out. Options like Kindle and ebooks have made it both possible and economical.
Don’t shortchange the world with the experiences you have lived during your life. Everyone has value to add, they simply need to decide to share it.
OK, step outside the box with me a minute and view your life as that book I have been talking about.
Yesterday has already been written. You can’t change it. The words are already in print. And it doesn’t even matter what happens today, tomorrow always starts with a blank piece of paper. So my question is simple, “What are you going to write?”
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Barry Smith www.buildingwhatmatters.com 4/26/13 photo by author
I recently finished my first memoir and am planning to write another as soon as I go back and spend another few months editing the first one. I love this entry and will share it with my creative writing students 🙂
Thanks for the support Suzi. Glad you enjoyed it.
That’s a good point you made there Barry. Made me pause and take a stock about my own story. Should set out to begin writing my chapters… and resolve to make more wonderful stories.
Great look moving forward Luchie. Best of luck in your journey!
Loved your post, Barry! So interesting because I really connect with people through their storytelling. Anecdotes are a powerful way to communicate lessons learned. And as you say, we all have gained knowledge along the way. Sharing the stories can often speak to what others are going through. Thanks so much for all your great insights!
Thanks a bunch for the kind words Terri. I think you have summed up the fine points well. I look forward to the future collaboration and more “story telling”
Barry your encouraging post reminds me that the word authority has author in it. We are the creators of our own story. Thanks for encouraging us to unearth our past story, share and continue to write what we want for the future.
You are very welcome Blair and I love your one liner “We are the creators of our own story.” Beautifully said!
Barry, While I agree that we all have stories, I emotionally disagree with your assertion that the way we should empathize with someone is to say, “I know what you are going through.” No one knows what someone else is going through. My son was on his death bed for several years. He lived, thanks to strong patient advocacy. Two responses to my family’s heartache during this period of my life really hurt – 1) “I know what you are going through and 2) “God has a plan, everything happens for a reason.” We must be thoughtful and aware when and how we share our stories. Listening always trumps telling.
First off Vicki, I am glad to hear your son pulled through. I agree that no one knows “exactly” what we are going through but I believe there comes an ability to connect on more common ground when similar experiences have been held. As to your #2, although one may find inner strength from this thought, I agree that the words themselves most likely do not help comfort any individual. I appreciate your thoughts and agree that we need to be very selective in our word choice during times like you have described. And I definitely agree that listening always trumps telling! Thanks for joining in the conversation.