Our oldest son Scott came home from college on Wednesday and our youngest son Spencer and his girlfriend Paige get home today. For the next two weeks we will be a family under the same roof for the first time since June.

Things have been so busy lately that although I have been looking forward to their arrival, I have not given much thought as to what the agenda will be over the next few weeks. Certainly the Christmas season will result in some of the activities that we spend our time on but what about the rest of it?

Scott heads back to school the first week of January and I don’t honestly know when we will all be together again.  I guess that realization had caused me to think about how to best invest this time in each other.

Even though this scenario does not apply to everyone reading this, it does pose the question of how we spend our time with the one’s we love the most.  Supposedly the world is supposed to end today, that is if you buy into the Mayan’s prediction.  I am pretty sure we will all be here tomorrow, but when it comes down to it, we really have only so much control over what the future holds so it only makes sense to make the most out of every minute.

As parents we carry the responsibility to lead and influence our kids in a positive way. Here are a few things to consider as you think about how to invest time with your kids, no matter what age or how often you see them:

ENCOURAGEMENT

It does not matter how old your kids are, they need to be encouraged.  They will continue to face challenges as they move towards a career and family.  Most wisdom comes from experience and it does not really matter if we failed or succeeded in the past.  If you are reading this, you have made it through life.  Let your kids know they will too.

EXPECTATIONS

Expectations are so important, especially to young kids.  Unfortunately, what we want is often not what we get.  Teach your kids that it is OK when things don’t work out.  It is just an extra bend in the road to wherever they are headed.  They simply need to keep going and they will reach their destination.

PASSION

What are your kids passionate about?  Have you asked them?  Ultimately, this is where they will find success in life.  Being good at something does not mean that you are passionate about it.  Dig deep on this one.  Doing something we love is the sweet spot.  Contrary to what our culture teaches, there is more to success than a big paycheck.

PURPOSE

This is the tough one, especially for young kids.  What is important is to teach kids that people and our relationships with them matter.  Whatever our purpose is, it should revolve around making a positive difference in the lives of others.  Make sure your kids understand this concept.  Ultimately, helping others get what they want will help us get what we want.

One of the questions I love to use at the end of a presentation, or anytime at all, for that matter is this:

“Picture your life as a book, yesterday has already been written but no matter what happens today, tomorrow’s page will always be blank”.  My question becomes “What are you going to Write?”  Jacob, a friend and co-worker of mine, answered it this way “The Best Ending Ever!”  I thought that was a pretty good answer!

It helped me to realize that I can help my kids write their next chapter.

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   12/21/12            photo by author