My son Spencer and I are two days into a week long, seven state journey that will take us to Mt. Rushmore and back to the Pacific Northwest.
One of the things I like most about traveling is seeing how people live differently in different parts of the country. If you asked a foreigner to explain the American culture, you would probably get a wide variety of answers but they would all be fairly similar in concept.
I believe this is very far from the truth. I think no matter where you travel in the United States, you see vastly different cultures. Every area has it’s own unique characteristics that set it apart from the rest of the Country.
Today we traveled from Boise, Idaho down through Salt Lake City, Utah and settled in for the night at a campground on the west side of Wyoming.
Most of you are probably aware that the state of Utah has a large Mormon population and as today was Sunday, we noticed very little traffic outside of the interstate. I know there are places in the midwest that share similar policy about shutting down on Sunday in reverence of their religious beliefs.
This is just an example of how one area lives out their unique culture and how that way of living shapes it’s residents for the future.
So is this a good thing or a bad thing? I am sure that you have heard the expression “small town mentality” to describe those that pretty much accept the way things are and don’t have a big vision for any change in the future.
I believe to a certain extent, we are all small town thinkers. We all have been preconditioned to believe that things are the way we have experienced them.
I don’t think our past needs to predict our future. In fact, I am of the belief that we can create our own future, no matter what culture we have grown up in.
My son Spencer is going to be a junior at Boise State University this fall and last night we discussed his future and what that might look like. No, he has not totally identified his future path but he has a pretty good idea and he knows what he is passionate about. I think that is a pretty good start for a 20 year old.
The thing is “he get’s it.” Spencer understands that he can create his future and that the only thing that can really get in his way is himself. The culture he was brought up in may have molded and shaped who he is, but the final sculpting will be by his own hands.
Two thoughts today: If you think that the culture you grew up in or have been in living in for a while will produce your identity, you are wrong. You and you alone, will be the author of your story and tomorrow hasn’t been written yet. What will be written is up to you.
My other thought is for you dad’s out there. When your kids take off for college or simply move out of the house, you lose the opportunity to have a lot of face to face conversations with them. Cherish every opportunity you have and be intentional about keeping the lines of communication open with your children. Remember, it doesn’t matter how old they are, you’re still their parent.
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Barry Smith 7/8/13 photo by author © Building What Matters 2013
Barry, what a wonderful opportunity you and your son have!! Awareness is the first step, and I know your son will be successful at whatever he does!!
Thanks Chandler. This has been a great trip – for both of us!
Our home culture works like a default mode of thinking. If we don’t examine the established way of working, we can end up living in someone else’s values and patterns for a long time. If we believe in setting personal goals and working for huge growth in our talents and performance, most of us will stop to review our home culture and will probably make some big changes as we work to find our destiny. Along the route of transformation, most of us stop to examine the ground rules and make new decisions about what is important. Thanks for giving me the chance to think about these issues with you Barry!
You make a great point about “living someone else’s values Steve. I appreciate the great insight on your part.
So I discovered. For me, the culture I was brought up in could not even mold my present. I therefore had to craft my own culture. It was blood, tears, mistakes and misdeeds. But I had HOPE that all would turn out well. I had faith in God. But it took me 30 years to finally break free. It was forgiveness that held me back. I was bitter that my father was not there for me, mad that I had to grow up without his guidance. But ‘writing’ a letter that was inspired by my choice to forgive him helped me break through. “Just a Man: When Forgiveness Inspires Leadership at Home” may be the title of my first book. I guess that has inspired a culture. A culture that helps my kids grow up knowing who they are and that they are significant no matter what other people treat them.
Thanks for the thoughtful and transparent comment Kimunya. Things happen so much better when we understand that we are responsible for our identity, not the circumstances that we grew up around.