The 5 Pillars Of Influential Leadership – Part 11: My Communication

5 Pillars webThis is the 11th of 16 weekly installments on The 5 Pillars of Influential Leadership.  Every Thursday, I will break down the 5 Pillars and show you how becoming and influential leader will not only improve your job skills but your personal life as well.

The 5 Pillars is a project that I have been working on for almost two years and had a great time with the official launch of “The 5 Pillars of Influential Leadership” Coaching program on May 23th.

Why the 5 Pillars?  I have spent more than 30 years in the business world and although it has been primarily in the Construction world, the 5 Pillars philosophy works across all industries.  In fact, while developing this program I realized that it can have a significant impact on your personal life as well.

I will break down each Pillar into three sections, personal, business and community. Any growth or improvement needs to start within, with the end goal of influencing the community you live in.  In this post we will take a look at PERSONAL COMMUNICATION.

Whoever said “Communication is the key to everything” was right.  Effective communication skills not only will deliver your message correctly, but will allow you to continue to move in a positive direction towards your goals.


Charisma is the unique quality that some people have that enables them to add expression such as body language and tonality to the way in which they communicate.  Clearly some people are more charismatic than others, but we all have the ability to express our words in a passionate way.


Nothing is worse that listening to someone who has no idea what they are talking about.  Actually there is one thing worse … when they act like they do know when they don’t.  If you are not prepared to speak or answer intelligently, don’t!


Unlike charisma, enthusiasm is simply being excited about what your communicating.  I believe charisma is something you have but enthusiasm is contagious.  Be enthusiastic in your communication and others will be as well.


Listening is the most important part of communication.  When we listen to what is being said we show respect.  We also actually understand better what is being said by keeping our mouths closed.  Focus on the individual that is speaking and let them finish before you interject.  I was once told, “don’t write yourself into the story, let the person you are speaking with do it for you.”


I believe intuition is most powerful when we are good listeners.  Intuition is the product of our life experiences that have been stored away in our subconscious as manifested by a triggering event.  We all have it, but it takes awareness to access it.


Nobody likes a fake.  If you come across as authentic, people will value your words or your message.  If you do not appear authentic, you will lose the interest of your audience fast and forever.


Remember that listening thing?  Sometimes it requires a great deal of patience to hear another person out.  We have a tendency to want to interject with the “genius” contribution we just came up with.  Be patient and let the other person finish and you will gain their confidence in you.


Be willing to admit your mistakes and do not boast of your successes.  Humility is a great way to show others that you are sincere and truly care.  The opposite side of humility is arrogance.  Have you seen anything good come from that lately?


Honesty is the best policy.  You never have to remember the truth and once you are viewed as an honest person, you become an influential person.  People won’t buy in to what you are doing if they don’t buy into you.

The 5 Pillars coaching program will take each topic to a much deeper level.  We will explore open ended questions and how they are directly impacting your life and more specifically in this segment, will allow you to evaluate and understand your role in growing your business.

In the mean time, start asking the type of questions that will result in better answers. When you ask “How can I”  you get an answer that will move the needle.  “What can I do today to improve the way I communicate with others?”  Answer that question, act on it, and you will succeed.



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Barry Smith    6/20/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

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